I just need to let out a small rant. Nothing major but my goodness aren't there just some BITCHY people in the world. I have been on the receiving end of it sometimes and have also seen many others been on the receiving end of it and all I can say is WHY?! Yes, of course, everyone should express how they feel but why behind each other's backs and why make snide comments? It can ruin someone's day for no good reason and is completely unnecessary. However, I think that's just how girls (and boys) are. They need to make themselves feel better and so bitch about others. It's not nice and it certainly shouldn't make you feel better about yourselves.
Xo.
Thursday, 29 November 2012
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Mistakes.
They say you learn from your mistakes but I am sad to say I do not always do that. In fact, I tend to repeat them. Several times.
I'm not sure what it is in my brain that doesn't allow me to comprehend that something was bad and not do it again.
For example, I really must not get SO drunk. To be fair, I definitely don't get as drunk as often as I used to but when I do it's not always pretty. I should understand that it doesn't look good and I end up massively embarrassing myself and regretting everything.
Take today, I am hungover, tired and cringing at last night's activities. I was a wreck and everyone could tell. It's not a good look and it's not something I want to be known/remembered for. I need to take control of situations and ask myself if what I'm doing is a good idea (which usually, it isn't).
Xo.
I'm not sure what it is in my brain that doesn't allow me to comprehend that something was bad and not do it again.
For example, I really must not get SO drunk. To be fair, I definitely don't get as drunk as often as I used to but when I do it's not always pretty. I should understand that it doesn't look good and I end up massively embarrassing myself and regretting everything.
Take today, I am hungover, tired and cringing at last night's activities. I was a wreck and everyone could tell. It's not a good look and it's not something I want to be known/remembered for. I need to take control of situations and ask myself if what I'm doing is a good idea (which usually, it isn't).
Xo.
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Jealousy.
I've never really thought of myself as a jealous person... because in comparison to many people I am not. However, sometimes, I cannot help myself being overwhelmed by it. It's an ugly, ugly emotion but one that will not go away just by willing it too.
For example, I am so so happy and grateful I have the group of friends I do. Truly I am. But sometimes, here at university, people I consider my friends, people who have met each other through me, I feel almost jealous that they become friends in their own right. This isn't a common thing and it certainly isn't in many cases at all. But when two of your best friends start seeing each other without you, you can't help but feel a sense of jealousy and loneliness, "why wasn't I invited?" Thing is, you can't say this to someone. It just sounds so petty and childish. Because it is. It's not that they like you any less, they just begin to like someone more. However, I cannot rationalise that to my own head. I keep telling myself stop this. Time wasting. I KNOW I'm being ridiculous but I also know I can't help myself.
(Completely irrelevant but also always relevant picture of Evan Peters being ridiculously beautiful as always)
Xo.
For example, I am so so happy and grateful I have the group of friends I do. Truly I am. But sometimes, here at university, people I consider my friends, people who have met each other through me, I feel almost jealous that they become friends in their own right. This isn't a common thing and it certainly isn't in many cases at all. But when two of your best friends start seeing each other without you, you can't help but feel a sense of jealousy and loneliness, "why wasn't I invited?" Thing is, you can't say this to someone. It just sounds so petty and childish. Because it is. It's not that they like you any less, they just begin to like someone more. However, I cannot rationalise that to my own head. I keep telling myself stop this. Time wasting. I KNOW I'm being ridiculous but I also know I can't help myself.
Xo.
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Second year and reflection.
So, I've started the second year of university. I have to say over summer I hadn't thought about it much, didn't really consider the implications of passing my first year...
As soon as we got back it was really nice to just reconnect with my friends and experience the fun of living in a house together and the benefits that can provide.
(the girls I'm living with)
Already I've had an argument with arguably one of my closest friends here after a drunken night out in which she decided to yell abuse at me. It was all resolved but not as quickly and neatly as I would have liked. It would be naive of me to expect freshers week to go untarnished. It had been amazing up until that point... 8 nights out in a row, working as a 'Freshers' Angel' (which involved looking after the first years of the halls I used to live in) and generally getting drunk with my friends. Dressing up is not my strong point but I have to say I did have some fun with it...
Lectures then started in the second week and it all got so intense, so fast. Over summer, I've almost forgotten how to write let alone remember how to focus in concentrated periods of time. It's taken a bit of getting used to. And of course, it is now second year so everything is twice as hard with twice as much work to do. I have 3 9am starts this year compared to the measly one last year and as anyone who knows me at all will know I do NOT do early starts. It is probably one of my weakest points. Early mornings and me will NEVER be friends. Work has already been set, assignments already being discussed, the work that is needed to be done to get a good grade this year drilled into my brain.
I have had some time to reflect on this year and last year and panic is beginning to set in. Lacking motivation is something that is quite common amongst my traits and is a real problem I aim to overcome. I can get bursts of intense work ethic but the majority of the time is an up hill struggle. It's not that I don't enjoy what I'm studying, I do. It's just there is so much more fun to be had! Again, anyone who remotely knows me knows that partying is my favourite hobby.
(Me at my drunken best)
However, once me and my friend made up we did have Freshers' Ball to look forward to. Professor Green is my boy! And Kids in Glass Houses' were sick! That's my kind of university experience...
Thinking back over summer, I had it relatively easy and even though you cannot exactly call going to university the hard life, it certainly is hard work. Though compared to some of my friends heavy work loads, I can't complain.
I'm hoping that this year will be a success at the end. I know it won't be easy and there will definitely be times of struggle but in the end it will all be worth it.
Cheers to that.
Xo.
As soon as we got back it was really nice to just reconnect with my friends and experience the fun of living in a house together and the benefits that can provide.
Already I've had an argument with arguably one of my closest friends here after a drunken night out in which she decided to yell abuse at me. It was all resolved but not as quickly and neatly as I would have liked. It would be naive of me to expect freshers week to go untarnished. It had been amazing up until that point... 8 nights out in a row, working as a 'Freshers' Angel' (which involved looking after the first years of the halls I used to live in) and generally getting drunk with my friends. Dressing up is not my strong point but I have to say I did have some fun with it...
I have had some time to reflect on this year and last year and panic is beginning to set in. Lacking motivation is something that is quite common amongst my traits and is a real problem I aim to overcome. I can get bursts of intense work ethic but the majority of the time is an up hill struggle. It's not that I don't enjoy what I'm studying, I do. It's just there is so much more fun to be had! Again, anyone who remotely knows me knows that partying is my favourite hobby.
Thinking back over summer, I had it relatively easy and even though you cannot exactly call going to university the hard life, it certainly is hard work. Though compared to some of my friends heavy work loads, I can't complain.
I'm hoping that this year will be a success at the end. I know it won't be easy and there will definitely be times of struggle but in the end it will all be worth it.
Xo.
Monday, 17 September 2012
Summer 2012
Summer's over for most and almost over for me. What can I say... 2012 you have given me a GREAT summer. It's been one of the best if not THE best as far as I'm concerned.
It started off with the glorious reuniting of the Eastbourne friends.
I literally love these people SO MUCH. My friends are the best.
And then I jetted away to sunny Menorca (I think, could be Majorca but pretty sure Menorca) with ye olde parents. Sun, sun, sun, burn, burn, burn. All very fun and lovely. (I didn't take any pictures there, I'm an idiot.)
I worked quite alot over summer at the joyous nursing home where the threat of catching MRSA plagues me daily. I can't complain though, I need money (even if it's not much) and life skills as my mum would say. She needs to stop saying that though, not everything is a 'life skill'.
I literally look like THE biggest turd in my work uniform and have unfortunately had the misfortune of encountering people I know in it who often laugh or take a picture before I can stop them to shame me with. Brilliant.
This summer I also rejoined the gym which was ambitious to say the least. But I have been going and feeling much better for it. However, I do believe I have been eating more to compensate. Well, you win some, you lose some.
I went to a mini festival which turned out to be great fun; I had sequin stars glued onto my eyebrows which pulled out half of them when I tried to remove the stars and glitter showered upon me (not too bad). See above for photo evidence.
Reading festival 2012 also occurred which was it's usual, lovely self. Festivals make a summer.
(Even if you do end up looking like this.)
The majority of my time, however, was spent with my best friends getting drunk and having our usual 'messy' monday out and recovering in the park the following day, having drinks and bitching about everyone we know at each other's houses and generally spending as much time as possible together.
My cousin got married this year and I have to say the wedding was gorgeous. It was like walking into the film 'Alice in Wonderland'. I've barely been to any weddings and to go to one as beautiful as this made me all lovey-dovey. By myself, of course. If there is someone, I'm sure you'll hear about it.
(Splashed out on this dress [far left] but it's a wedding so it doesn't count, right?!)
The wedding ^^^
So, that pretty much covers my summer. It's been amazing and everyone that's been part of it is amazing.
Xo.
It started off with the glorious reuniting of the Eastbourne friends.
And then I jetted away to sunny Menorca (I think, could be Majorca but pretty sure Menorca) with ye olde parents. Sun, sun, sun, burn, burn, burn. All very fun and lovely. (I didn't take any pictures there, I'm an idiot.)
I worked quite alot over summer at the joyous nursing home where the threat of catching MRSA plagues me daily. I can't complain though, I need money (even if it's not much) and life skills as my mum would say. She needs to stop saying that though, not everything is a 'life skill'.
I literally look like THE biggest turd in my work uniform and have unfortunately had the misfortune of encountering people I know in it who often laugh or take a picture before I can stop them to shame me with. Brilliant.
This summer I also rejoined the gym which was ambitious to say the least. But I have been going and feeling much better for it. However, I do believe I have been eating more to compensate. Well, you win some, you lose some.
Reading festival 2012 also occurred which was it's usual, lovely self. Festivals make a summer.
The majority of my time, however, was spent with my best friends getting drunk and having our usual 'messy' monday out and recovering in the park the following day, having drinks and bitching about everyone we know at each other's houses and generally spending as much time as possible together.
So, that pretty much covers my summer. It's been amazing and everyone that's been part of it is amazing.
Xo.
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Seriously.. you're an asshole.
I'm not usually the girl with the guy trouble but recently it seems that's all me and my friends have. He seems to think it's fine to go round telling the 'guys' that he doesn't actually like me, I'm needy and other stupid shit. But then JUST before I found this out, he is quite happy to share a sleeping bag with me...
Then ignore me and pretend I don't exist. I do. And now I'm pissed off. Do what you like, seriously, that's fine, but DO NOT bitch about me. It's embarassing, making me look desperate.
So then my friend liked this guy and all was going well until she found out stuff happened JUST AFTER he slept with someone else. WHAT A PENIS. And my other bestie has not been texted since by a guy after.. events.
WHY DO GUYS DO THIS? It is just BEYOND frustrating.
(I know this was a very incoherent post but I NEED to vent)
Then ignore me and pretend I don't exist. I do. And now I'm pissed off. Do what you like, seriously, that's fine, but DO NOT bitch about me. It's embarassing, making me look desperate.
So then my friend liked this guy and all was going well until she found out stuff happened JUST AFTER he slept with someone else. WHAT A PENIS. And my other bestie has not been texted since by a guy after.. events.
WHY DO GUYS DO THIS? It is just BEYOND frustrating.
(I know this was a very incoherent post but I NEED to vent)
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