Thursday, 17 January 2013

It's hard being unhappy.

 Over Christmas and New Year, I had the best month off from university. I got to see the people I love and I had such a good time. I felt myself again, as I always do when I go home. It is true what people say, home is where the heart is. It holds too many memories for it not to be that way.
 Then, I have to return. To university. This is something that should be exciting, something that I should be eager to do. However, it isn't. The thought filled me with dread and unease.
 I didn't want to be around people here. 
 At the end of last term, there was a select group of people who decided they didn't like me and decided to publicise this. Someone who I considered to be one of my best friends here rang me up and assassinated my character. Things weren't working out. I was finding my work difficult. I was too drained to concentrate properly, I felt permanently tired.
 So, I got back. Find out the first assignment that counts toward my degree was marked and I had failed. Fabulous start. 
 I'm a couple of friends down now I'm back and all I want is my real, best friends from home here to make me smile. I can't even be bothered to go on a night out. And that is NOT normal for me.
 Hopefully, life will look up and things will improve but at the current moment, things aren't great.