Music.

 Going to Reading festival always renews my love affair with new music. This year was no exception. When I got back I downloaded hundreds of songs from artists I knew or artists I had discovered and fell in love with. Aside from that, I then went exploring for music that had no connection with the festival at all but thought I might like.
 There are some albums that I really want to recommend whether you know the artist/album or not that I think are worth having a look at. (Just to iterate that these are not meant to be reviews, just mere opinion)

 Priorities by Don Broco: I saw Don Broco supporting We Are the Ocean in a small venue in Reading about a year ago. Having never heard of them before I really enjoyed their music and thought that they were a great live act. However, apart from downloading the odd song, I never really pursued their music. When I saw that they were playing the main stage at Reading this year I thought they would definitely be worth checking out and I was right. Their performance was energetic, entertaining and easy to engage with whether you knew the songs or not. My friends who had never heard of them were also very impressed. I came back and immediately downloaded their album, Priorities. The songs are so catchy and the lead singer's distinctive voice gives an edginess to their sound which is a mix of indie, rock and punk music combined. I found myself humming their songs absent-mindedly and obsessively listening to the album on repeat. I would suggest that anybody with any music taste could get into them as their sound is so approachable. The songs I am still most obsessed with are 'Yeah Man' and the title track 'Priorities.'

 AM by Arctic Monkeys: My mum has always loved the Arctic Monkeys and so, of course, I stole her albums to put onto my iTunes and have also loved them ever since. I find that you can always tell when hearing a song from them with album it is on as each of their albums has such a different feel from the last. This applies to AM for sure. Probably one of their best, if not their best, albums, the Arctic Monkeys really have pulled out a completely new vibe for AM. The album is much more chilled than their previous ones and has a more rock'n'roll feel. Still energetic but much more controlled. Alex Turner's voice suits this style of music perfectly and his vocals are amazing as always. Each song flows into the next and has it's own stand out qualities. This is definitely an album that must be heard as an album to be appreciated. Favourite songs at the moment have to be 'Knee Socks' and 'I Wanna Be Yours'.

 Signals by Mallory Knox: This is a band that I accidentally stumbled across at Reading Festival this year. I had heard of them vaguely before but had never listened to their music, let alone had any intention of seeing. However, as I sat down with my veggie burger, myself and my friends found ourselves watching a band that all of us communally appreciated. United in the fact that none of us had heard of them before, it was a unique experience to see them and all enjoy their music (plus the front man is a fit ginger). I decided to do a bit of research on them when I returned and in the end decided to go all in and download the album of which they had played the most songs off at Reading, their most recent. In doing so I discovered some beautifully poignant songs that have soon become firm favourites. '1949' and 'Bury Your Head' are slower, more thought provoking songs about enduring love and the like which translated very well on stage. Mallory Knox are a rock band and so most of the songs are upbeat but not too heavy and so I do think that they could be easily engaged with, whatever your preference of music.

 Sempiternal by Bring Me the Horizon: This isn't the newest of albums but it is certainly one of the best I have heard in a long while. I never liked Bring Me the Horizon until I met the lead singer, Oli Sykes and very shallowly of me I decided I should probably investigate their music more after (at this point) lying to Oli and professing my love for the band. Ironically, I began to love BMTH after giving them a proper listen and still do to this day. Their performance this year at Reading was INSANE and I cannot express enough how enjoyable the experience was. They were my favourite band of this year. As a heavy metal band, I thought dragging my friends along was certainly going to be an education for them as they are definitely not into that sort of "screaming" as they put it. However, they all went absolutely mental for them, like myself, and we found ourselves jumping around in mosh pits, getting pushed about, screaming at the top of our lungs and getting on random strangers shoulders. It was so much fun and we all came away breathless but buzzing. Many of the songs they played were from this album, released earlier this year, and already the songs have become classics. Oli has perfected his vocals on this album, so there is a lot more singing along with the usual amount of "screaming". The album makes you want to jump around and go mental as well as being able to relate to the songs lyrically. 'Can You Feel My Heart' is probably the best track on the album, however, cases could easily be made for any of the tracks. 'Antivist' is classic BMTH and songs like 'Go To Hell, For Heaven's Sake' show how the band has progressed over the years. Definitely worth a test to see if you like. 

 Xo.

Summer of 2013. An appreciation.

 Well, it sure has been a good old while since I've blogged. Life takes over, as it usually does and blogging has been put to the sidelines.
 However, I think now is a good a time as any to start it up again. As summer is drawing to a close and all my friends are heading back to university, I've been reflecting on what has been yet another brilliant summer. It goes on a bloody long time (4 months!) but that just means there is more time to spend with my friends. Those friends are what I wish to write about.
 I am utterly blessed with my friendship group. I know it, they know it and we have all had comments on how unique our group is because of our closeness and the way we are around one another. Not many people have the bond that we do or understand quite how close we are. 
 We take the absolute piss out of each other 24/7 and embarrass one another constantly. We can say what we like to one another; reveal our deepest secrets, tell one another to shut the fuck up when it needs to be said and generally have the best time ever. I laugh every second I'm with them; each member of the group bringing their own unique sense of humour and take on life.
 One reason I can stand being home for such long periods of time is because I know they are there and we will go out, get off our faces, do stupid things then meet up hungover the next day to discuss events and take the piss out of each other for things that seemed good at the time but of course were not. 
 Aside from being the funniest people ever, they are kind, generous and generally there for me any time I need them. Without them I wouldn't be who I am and would generally be lost. They give me the confidence every day to be myself, act like the prat I am, wear what I want, say what I want and to never care what anyone else thinks because no one else knows me like they do.
 This is a very gushy post and I know if they read it, they would take the piss at the same time as giving me a massive hug. I look forward to seeing them every day and never, ever get bored of their company. 
 We're all going to be together in Plymouth for one of my friend's 21st birthday and this will probably be the second time we'll all be together at someone's university for the weekend. I am beyond excited and as a fun addition I'm bringing my best friend from my university too so that he can get to know my friends like I do and therefore understand me a bit better. 

 These are just some snapshots of what's been an incredible summer. Reading festival was eventful but also one of the most amazing weekends of my life. Nothing gets better really than getting drunk with your best friends and watching some amazing bands.
 Anyway, this has been a long, muddled post. Forgive me, next time I'll try and write more concisely. That's me done for now.
 Xo.

More upbeat.

 Well, I certainly left you all on a depressing note, didn't I?! Apologies for my absence, it really has been a busy couple of months. Back at university and things were looking up after I left you. I've ditched the people I needed to ditch and grew closer to those who supported me. I have managed to escape the confines of Reading multiple times, to Plymouth, to Nottingham and to home twice. The second time, which is where I currently am, is quite by accident and through no fault of my own. 
 My idiot friend, who I have recently reconnected with, which up to this point had been LOVELY, accidentally headbutted me on a night out and broke my nose. Yes, my nose is broken. He is an absolute pillock. I currently have to wear the most unflattering nose splint/cast known to man and have holed myself up at home in Eastbourne in an attempt to avoid everyone and anyone. So far, so good. Tomorrow, I may have to venture outside the confines of my home though and this is, I can tell, going to be HIGHLY embarassing. What makes it worse is the consistent asking of me to send everyone a picture of firstly, my nose when it was broken and secondly, of it in a cast. WHY WOULD I DO THAT, WHY WOULD I LET YOU RELEASE IT ONTO SOCIAL MEDIA?! Idiots. That's all I can say.
 Anyway, onto more, less painful, topic of conversation. Two of my friends (who do not know I have a blog or if they do, I do not know they know) have written recently about their musings and ideas on friendship. I, in the past, on here, have also written about my friends and how much they mean to me and just wish to reiterate this fact. I literally could not have asked for a better group of friends, ever. They keep me going and keep me (in) sane. I love them to death and honestly do not know any other friendship group that works the way that we do, shares as much as we do with one another and makes each other laugh as much as we do. Laughter is key, no matter how down you are, how much you are failing in other areas of your life, if they can make you cry with laughter for a couple of hours, you will instantly feel your faith in the world be renewed. I know that I do. 
 Xo.

It's hard being unhappy.

 Over Christmas and New Year, I had the best month off from university. I got to see the people I love and I had such a good time. I felt myself again, as I always do when I go home. It is true what people say, home is where the heart is. It holds too many memories for it not to be that way.
 Then, I have to return. To university. This is something that should be exciting, something that I should be eager to do. However, it isn't. The thought filled me with dread and unease.
 I didn't want to be around people here. 
 At the end of last term, there was a select group of people who decided they didn't like me and decided to publicise this. Someone who I considered to be one of my best friends here rang me up and assassinated my character. Things weren't working out. I was finding my work difficult. I was too drained to concentrate properly, I felt permanently tired.
 So, I got back. Find out the first assignment that counts toward my degree was marked and I had failed. Fabulous start. 
 I'm a couple of friends down now I'm back and all I want is my real, best friends from home here to make me smile. I can't even be bothered to go on a night out. And that is NOT normal for me.
 Hopefully, life will look up and things will improve but at the current moment, things aren't great.
 Xo.

Bitchy girls and overdramatics.

 Continuing on from my last post's themes, I thought I'd dedicate this post to more personal experiences...
 I am currently living in a house with 6 other girls at university. Now, this does have it's benefits, let's not get that wrong, I mean, there's usually someone around and there is plenty of other people to talk to if you are avoiding one of them.
 However, sadly, I am here to talk of the downfalls of living with girls and well, girls in general. I recently had a catch up with one of my best friends from home who commented that "no-one will ever match the friends we have at home." And sadly, this is something I consider to be, on the whole, the truth. The friendship group we have at home is remarkable; we spend the whole time laughing our heads off at each other's stories, jokes and general taking the absolute piss out of each other.
 At university, most of the girls can't handle having the piss being taken out of them and get offended at the slightest joke that would mark their otherwise perfect exterior. If you said, as a joke, "you've got more chins that a chinese phonebook" (which let's face it, is hilarious), they would give you an icy stare and instantly start examining themselves in the mirror before declaring "that was SO unnecessary."
 I have to watch what I'm saying half the time in case it would hurt someone's feelings or they wouldn't understand. This isn't everyone and this isn't constant but it's a fair bit of the time. I would never have to worry about ANY of that with my friends at home. Some people would argue it's a matter of how long you've known each other; I disagree. I've know them for almost a year and a half now, plenty of time. Plus, there are some of my more special friends here who have been able to take the banter from day one.
 The dramatics, as well, can get very tiresome. Everyone talking about someone to someone else and analysing every single look, action and word. It's ridiculous and too time consuming. People are declaring "there will be drama tonight," making it almost happen from their very words.
 I don't understand why this has to be the case. Can't we all just avoid the people as best as we can that we don't get on with? 
 Girls will lose too much time in life bitching about other girls and worrying about what other people have said about them. Life's too short.
 Xo. 

Small rant.

 I just need to let out a small rant. Nothing major but my goodness aren't there just some BITCHY people in the world. I have been on the receiving end of it sometimes and have also seen many others been on the receiving end of it and all I can say is WHY?! Yes, of course, everyone should express how they feel but why behind each other's backs and why make snide comments? It can ruin someone's day for no good reason and is completely unnecessary. However, I think that's just how girls (and boys) are. They need to make themselves feel better and so bitch about others. It's not nice and it certainly shouldn't make you feel better about yourselves.
 Xo.

Mistakes.

 They say you learn from your mistakes but I am sad to say I do not always do that. In fact, I tend to repeat them. Several times. 
 I'm not sure what it is in my brain that doesn't allow me to comprehend that something was bad and not do it again.
 For example, I really must not get SO drunk. To be fair, I definitely don't get as drunk as often as I used to but when I do it's not always pretty. I should understand that it doesn't look good and I end up massively embarrassing myself and regretting everything. 
 Take today, I am hungover, tired and cringing at last night's activities. I was a wreck and everyone could tell. It's not a good look and it's not something I want to be known/remembered for. I need to take control of situations and ask myself if what I'm doing is a good idea (which usually, it isn't).
 Xo.

Jealousy.

 I've never really thought of myself as a jealous person... because in comparison to many people I am not. However, sometimes, I cannot help myself being overwhelmed by it. It's an ugly, ugly emotion but one that will not go away just by willing it too.
 For example, I am so so happy and grateful I have the group of friends I do. Truly I am. But sometimes, here at university, people I consider my friends, people who have met each other through me, I feel almost jealous that they become friends in their own right. This isn't a common thing and it certainly isn't in many cases at all. But when two of your best friends start seeing each other without you, you can't help but feel a sense of jealousy and loneliness, "why wasn't I invited?" Thing is, you can't say this to someone. It just sounds so petty and childish. Because it is. It's not that they like you any less, they just begin to like someone more. However, I cannot rationalise that to my own head. I keep telling myself stop this. Time wasting. I KNOW I'm being ridiculous but I also know I can't help myself.

 (Completely irrelevant but also always relevant picture of Evan Peters being ridiculously beautiful as always)
Xo.

Second year and reflection.

 So, I've started the second year of university. I have to say over summer I hadn't thought about it much, didn't really consider the implications of passing my first year...
 As soon as we got back it was really nice to just reconnect with my friends and experience the fun of living in a house together and the benefits that can provide.

 (the girls I'm living with)
 Already I've had an argument with arguably one of my closest friends here after a drunken night out in which she decided to yell abuse at me. It was all resolved but not as quickly and neatly as I would have liked. It would be naive of me to expect freshers week to go untarnished. It had been amazing up until that point... 8 nights out in a row, working as a 'Freshers' Angel' (which involved looking after the first years of the halls I used to live in) and generally getting drunk with my friends. Dressing up is not my strong point but I have to say I did have some fun with it...

 Lectures then started in the second week and it all got so intense, so fast. Over summer, I've almost forgotten how to write let alone remember how to focus in concentrated periods of time. It's taken a bit of getting used to. And of course, it is now second year so everything is twice as hard with twice as much work to do. I have 3 9am starts this year compared to the measly one last year and as anyone who knows me at all will know I do NOT do early starts. It is probably one of my weakest points. Early mornings and me will NEVER be friends. Work has already been set, assignments already being discussed, the work that is needed to be done to get a good grade this year drilled into my brain. 
 I have had some time to reflect on this year and last year and panic is beginning to set in. Lacking motivation is something that is quite common amongst my traits and is a real problem I aim to overcome. I can get bursts of intense work ethic but the majority of the time is an up hill struggle. It's not that I don't enjoy what I'm studying, I do. It's just there is so much more fun to be had! Again, anyone who remotely knows me knows that partying is my favourite hobby.

 (Me at my drunken best)

 However, once me and my friend made up we did have Freshers' Ball to look forward to.  Professor Green is my boy! And Kids in Glass Houses' were sick! That's my kind of university experience... 
 Thinking back over summer, I had it relatively easy and even though you cannot exactly call going to university the hard life, it certainly is hard work. Though compared to some of my friends heavy work loads, I can't complain.
 I'm hoping that this year will be a success at the end. I know it won't be easy and there will definitely be times of struggle but in the end it will all be worth it.

Cheers to that.
 Xo.

Summer 2012

 Summer's over for most and almost over for me. What can I say... 2012 you have given me a GREAT summer. It's been one of the best if not THE best as far as I'm concerned.
 It started off with the glorious reuniting of the Eastbourne friends. 

I literally love these people SO MUCH. My friends are the best. 
 And then I jetted away to sunny Menorca (I think, could be Majorca but pretty sure Menorca) with ye olde parents. Sun, sun, sun, burn, burn, burn. All very fun and lovely. (I didn't take any pictures there, I'm an idiot.)
 I worked quite alot over summer at the joyous nursing home where the threat of catching MRSA plagues me daily. I can't complain though, I need money (even if it's not much) and life skills as my mum would say. She needs to stop saying that though, not everything is a 'life skill'. 
 I literally look like THE biggest turd in my work uniform and have unfortunately had the misfortune of encountering people I know in it who often laugh or take a picture before I can stop them to shame me with. Brilliant.
 This summer I also rejoined the gym which was ambitious to say the least. But I have been going and feeling much better for it. However, I do believe I have been eating more to compensate. Well, you win some, you lose some.

 I went to a mini festival which turned out to be great fun; I had sequin stars glued onto my eyebrows which pulled out half of them when I tried to remove the stars and glitter showered upon me (not too bad). See above for photo evidence.
 Reading festival 2012 also occurred which was it's usual, lovely self. Festivals make a summer.

 (Even if you do end up looking like this.)
 The majority of my time, however, was spent with my best friends getting drunk and having our usual 'messy' monday out and recovering in the park the following day, having drinks and bitching about everyone we know at each other's houses and generally spending as much time as possible together. 

 My cousin got married this year and I have to say the wedding was gorgeous. It was like walking into the film 'Alice in Wonderland'. I've barely been to any weddings and to go to one as beautiful as this made me all lovey-dovey. By myself, of course. If there is someone, I'm sure you'll hear about it.

(Splashed out on this dress [far left] but it's a wedding so it doesn't count, right?!)

The wedding ^^^
 So, that pretty much covers my summer. It's been amazing and everyone that's been part of it is amazing.
 Xo.

Everyone should read this..

http://deadspin.com/5941348/they-wont-magically-turn-you-into-a-lustful-cockmonster-chris-kluwe-explains-gay-marriage-to-the-politician-who-is-offended-by-an-nfl-player-supporting-it

Absolutely brilliant.

Seriously.. you're an asshole.

 I'm not usually the girl with the guy trouble but recently it seems that's all me and my friends have. He seems to think it's fine to go round telling the 'guys' that he doesn't actually like me, I'm needy and other stupid shit. But then JUST before I found this out, he is quite happy to share a sleeping bag with me... 
 Then ignore me and pretend I don't exist. I do. And now I'm pissed off. Do what you like, seriously, that's fine, but DO NOT bitch about me. It's embarassing, making me look desperate.
 So then my friend liked this guy and all was going well until she found out stuff happened JUST AFTER he slept with someone else. WHAT A PENIS. And my other bestie has not been texted since by a guy after.. events. 
 WHY DO GUYS DO THIS? It is just BEYOND frustrating. 
 (I know this was a very incoherent post but I NEED to vent)

On the plus side..

I'M WATCHING DIE HARD 4.0. Yeah, you go Bruce Willis!

This sums me up so much right now.

Reading Fest '12

 Recently, I've been feeling very emotional. There are some people who have been contributing to that; people who have been messing with me but I had to put that all aside for the time of year that is Reading Festival. I went for the first time last year and had the time of my life. Things couldn't get much better; friends, alcohol and music.
 This year was slightly different, I was going with different friends and of course, there were different bands. 
 It turned out that, of course, it was amazing. I met some HILARIOUS people and became closer with the friends I did go with. Most of the talk (as last year) was crude and filthy. The drinks flowed and the loud singing continued in great abundance. The bands were AMAZING and I definitely saw more music than last year which was a definite plus. It, also, showed me the amount of attractive, young men there are in the world and how you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket (e.g. don't set your sights on the men in the tiny town you live in). 
 However, coming back from Reading is always a happy relief.. a warm bed, a cooked meal, an early night, catching up with my girls. Still, the come down will always come back round.

 Now all I am is emotionally drained. Not sure which is better/worse.
Xo.

You know it's bad when..

You dream about someone. Then you wake up thinking it was real, HOPING it was real. And when you start thinking about someone when you really shouldn't. Keep saying to yourself it's just a phase. And it will be.

I have no right to...

... But I am getting VERY frustrated with this situation that I have got myself in. Expecting things I have no right to expect then getting annoyed as my hopes are getting too high and more and more unrealistic. NOT PRACTICAL. Maybe it's best I am disappointed and upset now and sparing myself later. 

Bad timing.

I think this just about sums it up.

I just can't play it cool.

 In pretty much every situation in my life I am the last person you would accuse of playing it cool. I am getting better now (hopefully) but I used to be HORRIFIC. I just can't seem to keep a cool head or think clearly in situations that need it most. Actually, only in situations that involve me directly. If someone else is injured or having a problem, I am probably the best person to have there, I just wished that translated to my life.
 For example, if I like a guy I can't simply wait for them to text me or not talk them on Facebook. I HAVE to speak to them. It's like an obsession but then I can get over someone within a matter of days if they do one little thing I don't like. My nature is persistently mercurial. It can get very annoying. It is ten times worse when I am drunk (which is a lot of the time). I do the drunken texting, phone calls, Facebook comments and wake up with a feeling of absolute dread and regret. It used to be the same when I was sober, unable to stop myself from texting someone and playing it cool. Thankfully, I have much more sense in my head nowadays and know that it is NOT attractive. I also know people who are very similar and cringe at how obvious they are when they like someone, reminding myself I act very similarly.
 A lot of the time, I try to cover it up with humour. Make jokes and what not which makes things marginally better but there's still the awkward apology. Texting someone the next day saying 'sorry I rang you last night asking if you loved me'. Not cool, Grace, not cool.

 It's the same if I feel like someone has a problem with me or I have a problem with them. Half the time, I just can't hold my tongue and HAVE to say how I feel. It's something I pride myself on most of the time, having the courage to say how I feel and not being shy and retiring but then other times I think to myself, did I really have to say that? 
 I truly envy those people who don't reply to a text for a couple of hours, keeping a guy waiting. The people who never reveal their true emotions too obviously and play it cool. The people who only express their opinions when it's something they really believe in and ignore all the snide remarks made about them. 
 But, if things are progressing in the right direction then maybe one day I'll be out one night and won't feel the need to send an emotional text.
 One day.
Xo.

What's been happening recently

 I haven't blogged in a while and really feel like doing a post of updates and thoughts rather than my usual rant or indepth *cough* thoughts.
 I am at home at the moment, actually enjoying it. I've caught up with friends I haven't seen in months, got drunk multiple times and actually been doing a bit of work. So far, so good. I got back from Menorca 2 days ago and had a great, relaxing time with my parents. And usually spending time with my parents is anything but relaxing. I actually did some reading, which considering I'm doing an English degree, you would consider to be a normality but sadly it is not. 
 Today, oddly, I saw 'Magic Mike' with my best friend and ... my mum. I'm not even sure how that happened. My mum spent most of the time laughing or making whooping noises at the male strippers on the screen. Not sure I can actually blame her...
 I'm loving being back with my best friends and reminding myself how much I love them, despite how much we bicker! I really do miss being home; when I'm here I'm reminded of how many lovely people I know here and how much fun we have. There's the flip side, of course, of the absolute twats who inhabit Eastbourne also. And so it's the same as it's always been. Sometimes, I don't like change and so consistency here can be a good thing. That's not to say everything's completely the same though; I'm finding it interesting to see how some people have changed since staying at home and not having their friends around or how people who have gone to university have changed. 
 Some of my friends have now become into heavy drug-taking or the lighter abuse of alcohol (which they had never properly touched before). Some people think they're fucking 'it' and think they are high and mighty since mingling with 'cooler' people. Some people can no longer give you the time of day. However, it is important to point out the people who have stayed the same, mainly my closest friends. They're still as funny and lovely and kind as ever. And we're still as close as ever. The best kind of friendship.
Xo.

(I don't see us changing much)

 Oh, yeah, very importantly, I PASSED MY FIRST YEAR!!! How did that happen?! No one 
knows. I actually got a fairly decent grade as well. Pretty proud of myself.